Saturday, March 6, 2010 by Audrey
I have wanted to blog for forever, but I have been so busy! So, here are the bullet points.

I'm only working every other week at the temple and I think I want to quit entirely. I don't enjoy it anymore and my homework is drowning me, just a little.

I love school so much. I could do my schoolwork all the time, which is good, because that's what I've been doing. I love what I'm working towards, I love volunteering at the library two days a week, I love the chance to read 80 YA novels for my classes this semester. I don't love having no social life. None at all. I was invited to a party tonight that I kind of want to go to, but I feel like I have too much homework to do. Maybe I'll go anyway. And then be swamped all week. 9 graduate credits is too much when I'm working full time too, but I can't wait to be done.

Does the Facebook wall depress anyone else? I need to not look at it anymore. All my friends are getting engaged or married or having second or third babies. I'm just going to school, just like always. I have no marriage prospects, and I can't help shaking the feeling that I won't get any unless I lose 40 or 50 pounds. I don't flirt with anyone because I worry that they will find me repellent.

A guy in my ward came up to me at an activity on Wednesday and told me that I'm intimidating because my education shows in everything I do. Thanks? I appreciate that it's apparently obvious I'm smart, because that doesn't mean I'm hiding it like I used to. But I don't try to be intimidating. I'm being as friendly as I feel like I can at this point in my life. Sorry if I don't feel like I have anything to say to anyone! Sorry that my shyness looks like I'm intimidating. I don't know what to do to change it.
Posted in Labels: | 4 Comments »


Janie said...

Audrey, you're not repellent. You should flirt. And for the people who find your education intimidating, they're dumbo heads. I for one think you're pretty darn amazing. :)

Audrey said...

Thanks, sister! And for the record, I'm not depressed--it was a bad day, I think.

Joshua Tolley said...

Oh no! You intimidate the little people! Call it winnowing... separating the sheep from the goats. But if it ever comes down to it, you don't want to date sheep, or goats -- they're even fuzzier than most boys.

Audrey said...

So true. Thanks, hermano!