Somehow, without me noticing it, I'm happy. I think that coming back to my apartment and back to school for my last semester got rid of my last yearnings to be back together with D. I've only seen him once this semester, and I didn't want to be with him when I looked at him. There's so many guys out there who are ten times better for me. There are a few super nice new guys in the ward, too, which always helps.

Which brings me to note an observation. Why, when two girls like the same guy, do they feel that the person who flirts the most will win out? Why does the possessive, jealous side always seem to rear its head? My friend (and ex-roommate) Lindsey likes the same guy that I do. His name is Nick, he graduated with a BA in English Lit but is going back to school to get certified in Radiology (so you have the whole "I followed my passion but I also want to support my future family" vibe going on); he works at a school for mentally-ill children (so he is patient and likes children); and he volunteers every Saturday night at the hospital (so he has that compassionate loving thing happening too). I think he's a lot of fun and I'd love to go on a date with him. But right now, that's all I want. One date does not equal eternal commitment (something that many BYU guys still need to learn). Nick and I are friends, and I've been friends with all of his roommates for the whole year too. I go down to their apartment when I need to just chill (or when I need to avoid the wedding planning or blatant couch-PDA that is invariably going on at my own place). But Lindsey seems to think that I'm trying to take her man.

First of all, he isn't her man. He isn't anyone's man but his own. He can make his own decisions about who he wants to date. But L loves to treat it like a contest to see who Nick will choose to spend most of his time with. He remains contentedly oblivious to any of this and I'm pretty sure he has no idea what's going on when he isn't there. Honestly, if he wants to date either of us, he will ask us on a date. It's been known to happen before. Nothing that either Lindsey and I do will alter that decision that he may make. He knows both of us. He chooses to hang out with both of us. But L doesn't seem to see that. She is making it into some sort of contest. And I'll admit, I'm not immune--so have I. But I've come to the point where I want to stop competing with her. It's getting really old really fast. So I'm just going to be his friend and see what happens.

Sometimes I wish I were a guy. Things could be so much easier.