Drowning

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 by Audrey
Lately I've been feeling like I'm swimming in a huge ocean, and I'm starting to drown. Like I have no sense of purpose and I have no idea what to do with my life. But then I think about all of the thigns that I do have planned. I'm graduating college in 2 weeks. I'm moving home for a couple of months, working on paying off my student loans, taking the GRE, and then going on a mission in September. I'm going to get a master's in library science and hope to work in a public library as a children's librarian. I have the next 5 years planned out. So why do I feel so lost?

Oh, yeah. The dating thing. Isn't it great? You spend your entire college career expecting to be married by the time you graduate, because that's the path that your entire family took. But then what happens when your great life's ambition isn't happening yet, and doesn't appear to be waiting just around the next bend either? I have no idea what I can change to make my dating life better. I have had multiple men tell me that I'm fun to hang out with, they like talking to me, I'm really pretty, I'm amazing, my lips look ultra kissable....but, they don't want to date me. What do you do about that? It would help if I had some concrete criticism: "I don't want to date you, but your breath smells," or "I think your laugh is really annoying" or "I really need someone who shares my love of westerns and you don't love them." Then I wouldn't be feeling so bad. But what can I do about "You're wonderful and I love everything about you, but you still aren't my idea of marriage material"?

I think that's why I feel like I'm drowning. There is nothing that I know I need to do to change my situation. What do you do about that?
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1 comment:

metamorphose said...

You're young. You have so much life ahead of you. I know you probably hear that all the time, but it's true. I say don't sweat it -and enjoy being single. I'm the only one in my family that didn't get married at or under the age of 23, and to be honest...I'm so grateful I didn't.

The less you obsess about it, the better it will be.

Besides, if you're going on a mission, I say focus on that, and forget about boys until you come back.